I recently watched a video which was in response to an Australian student asking for some advice about how to build self confidence. As I sat there watching the video, I couldn’t help but think that the presenter was totally missing the point and giving advice for short term fixes rather than long term joy.
I believe that for us to be in the search of the long term win, we must first begin looking at the foundational level. So with that in mind, here are my 3 thoughts for building genuine self confidence.
What do you believe?
Let’s start with this – what are your values and what are your underlying beliefs about yourself and how you fit into the world? This is really important. Ultimately what you stand for, what you think about yourself and how you believe you fit into the world is going to be the lens that you process your self worth and self confidence through.
I firmly believe that not all values are equal, some are better than others and we all potentially possess and prioritise values that rob us of joy. It should be our regular priority to be constantly evaluating our values as they do shift and change over time and are heavily influenced by the things & people we immerse ourselves with.
Ultimately your values will inform what you think about yourself and how you believe you fit into the world. So it’s really important that every one of us regularly look at our values and constantly tweak, change and reorder our most fundamental foundations.
So, take 10 minutes and begin by asking yourself, what are the things that you believe about yourself? Do you believe you are worthy? Do you believe you are loved? Do you believe you are important? If you answered no to any of those questions then it would be my advice that often pain and emotion can cloud and impair truth and it is from those thoughts that we need to go one step down and begin to evaluate our values and our foundations.
We have the POWER to change our values and beliefs, but it must all begin with us being brave enough to look at and examine those things which we all too often just ignore.
Actions < Decisions < Thoughts < Perspective < Values
Who Do You Surround Yourself With?
Who are the people you actively surround yourself with? Do they build you up or do they tear you down? Do their behaviours and actions have a positive influence on you or does it impact you in a negative way?
ALSO who do you follow on social media? What effect do those people have on you and what you believe?
The people we surround ourselves with (including online) have an enormous impact on not only our self confidence but also our life direction! So if they reinforce those negative beliefs about yourself, if they tear you down or if they just have a negative influence on any aspect of your life it’s probably a good time to begin evaluating whether they are the best people for you to surround yourself with.
Where are You Heading?
By this I DO NOT mean immerse yourself so heavily in work that you don’t have time for anything else or to attach self worth to achievement. What I do mean however is that when we live with a purpose it helps us keep going when things become challenging. When we live with purpose and intent it helps us find meaning and keep perspective.
So where are you heading? What is your vision for yourself? I don’t necessarily mean a specific job or degree, money, owning an expensive car but more so what sort of person do you want to become? What is the wider direction you want your life to head? What is the bigger umbrella vision for your life.
What do you believe in? Who do you surround yourself with? Where are you heading? I believe that once we can build an understanding and foundation of these three ideas they will go a long way to helping us on the journey to self confidence.